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Nervous About Trying to Conceive a Baby... AGAIN!

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My husband and I are getting ready to try for number 2. We have a beautiful little girl who is 22 months old and she is the light of our lives. I didn’t love being pregnant but it wasn’t horrible by any means. I did love giving birth and I LOVE being a mom. Yet here I am, scared to death of trying to conceive a baby.

I remember being nervous and fearful the first time around, but that was mostly because let’s face it, getting pregnant is a miracle! Stars and planets need to align, eggs need to be released, sperm needs to be speedy and strong. How anyone gets pregnant to begin with is beyond me! I was really nervous that it would take forever to get pregnant or that there might be something wrong with me or my husband. And being the neurotic control freak that I am, I knew that the waiting game while trying to conceive a baby was going to be stressful for me!

Fast forward almost 3 years and here I am, once again at the same point. Once again, I’m nervous about getting pregnant and while the same reasons as before definitely apply; I’ve got a laundry list of new fears! I’m terrified of how my little girl will handle a new sibling. I worry about the loss of freedom. I can handle a 22 month old when I’m grocery shopping or browsing the mall, but how on earth will I work it with 2?? I’m scared because Sunshine was such an easy, easy baby and what if I’m not as lucky this next time around? I worry that I won’t feel the same connection with a new baby that I feel with Sunshine. There is just so much more on my mind this time around...
 
I know I can't be the only one dealing with “Trying to Conceive a Baby” fears. But I'm not going to lie, I kind of thought now that I've been through it all once before, I wouldn't be scared and nervous. It’s not like I'm heading into the unknown, like I was before. But then on the other hand, going from 1 child to 2 is new territory, so I guess I am heading into the unknown once again.
I know my family isn’t complete yet. I know that I don’t want Sunshine to be an only child. I want her to have a sibling to play with- someone to build forts with, play tag with, teach her tricks to. I want her to have those things, so I know I need to get over myself and my fear of being a mom to 2 children. Our projected “Start Trying” date is April. In April my charting will no longer be for practice and sex will be more than just a fun past time.  It’ll be the real deal.  I’ll be trying to conceive a baby. And boy oh boy, am I scared!!

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